(home)

Writing

Print Projects


The Neu Jorker (Parody Magazine)
The Neu Jorker
is a full, cover-to-cover parody of New York's most stimulating, mid-to-high-brow magazine, available for free online, and featured in The New York TimesWIREDAdweekThe Onion's AV ClubSplitsider & more.

Paul Ryan magazine (Parody Magazine)
Paul Ryan
magazine is 192 pages of jokes and jabs at the dark princeling of the GOP, the Wisconsin windbag, Speaker Paul Ryan, as well as a satire of magazine genres and tropes. Featured in Mashable, The Daily Dot, Pop Sugar, The Washington Post, Slate's Political Gabfest podcast, & more. Print and digital copies available at wiscohunk.com.

Encyclopedia of Hypothetical Police Procedurals (Humor)
The definitive guide to nonexistent cop shows. 113 procedurals including “Sheriff Snowman,“ “The Dirt Bike Boys,“ “Son of Swamp Cop,” and many more.

The Thunder in Paradise: 30 Poems from Hulk Hogan Interviews (Humor, Poetry)
A collection of erasure poems created from interviews with Hulk Hogan. Examples linked above. Also available as a handmade zine, email me for a copy!

Selected Clippings


The New Yorker
- My Review of the Big Parade After Being Locked in the Trunk of My Car (Jul ‘19)
- You’ve Been Signed Up For My Newsletter! (Apr ‘19)
-
The Stories Behind the Portraits on Our Money (Nov ‘18)
-
Mid-Flight Horoscopes (Jun '18)
- The People Who I Imagine Live In The New High-Rise In My Neighborhood (Jan '18)
An Honest Invitation to a Potluck Dinner Party (Oct '17)
Congressional Daydreams (May '17)
Sean Spicer Introduces Theme Days For Press Briefings (Mar '17)
As a Vocal Male Feminist, I’m Offended That I Wasn’t Invited to Your Bachelorette Party (Sep '16)
F.B.I. Report On Mafia Decline Caused By Group Text And E-Mail Chains (Aug '16)

McSweeney's 
- Caravaggio Apologizes for the Low Lighting (Issue #50)

McSweeney's Internet Tendency
- Fragments From Sappho’s Grocery Lists (Jun ‘19)
- New Love Languages (Feb ’19)
- The Sea Is My Mistress. Please Don't Tell My Wife (Apr '18)
- This Thanksgiving We're Pivoting to Video (Nov '17)
- Remove Your Cap and Bow Your Head, For It Is I, Secretary of Agriculture Tom Vilsack (Dec '15)
- Hey Look, Those Birds Are Fucking (Jun '15)
- Fragments from the Ancient Gospels of “The Church of a Pretty Good God” (Aug '13)
A Government Wasteocrat Comes Clean (Apr '13)
Your Spirit Animal is a Tech Guy Named Paul (Dec '12)
The Lost Home Movies of John Ford (Nov '11)

Topic
- The Wedding Registry From Hell (Jun ‘19)
- Pardon the Interruption (May ‘19)
- A Wrinkle in the Twitter Timeline (Mar ‘19)
- Cashpocalypse Now (Feb ‘19)

The American Bystander
- Welcome to the Dolphin Trainers' Convention! (Issue #5)
- Index Jokes (Issue #5)
- Dear NASA, I'd Like To Fight An Alien (Issue #4)

Narrative.ly
Hell of a Race (Apr '14)
Indoor Wolves (Dec '13)
The Man Behind the Glass (Sep '13)
The Crash of the Century (Mar '13)
Making All Stressful Stops (Nov '12)

Esquire
- A Diaper Change You Can Believe In (Dec '08)

The Occasional 
A Field Guide To Your Mom's Friends' Tattoos (Nov '14)

Splitsider 
The Best of 'Army Man' (Jul '13)
So Your Car Broke Down on a Family Trip…What's Next? (Jul '13)

The Toast
Notes on Your Screenplay From a Producer Obsessed With Cannonballs (Feb '14)
Justice Scalia Yawns (Sep '13)

Cafe.com
Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop: Jeff Sessions Finds Another Way to Increase Deportations (Jan '18)
Bad News For Incarcerated New Yorkers Is Great News For Prison Businesses (Jan '18)
Son, We Need To Talk…They Found Santa’s Grave (Oct '17)
Physicists Win Nobel Prize For Finding That Massive Forces Of Darkness Are Warping Everything Around Us – Also, Something About Black Holes (Oct ‘17)
The Department Of Health And Human Services Is Trying To Sabotage The ACA With A Bad Web Series (Oct '17)
America: Quit Electing Golfers to the Presidency Already (Oct '17)
Boutique Oil, from an animated series about the Congressional Record (Apr '17)
- Specialty Crops, from an animated series about the Congressional Record  (Apr '17)
- Manatees in Space, from an animated series about the Congressional Record (Apr '17)

National Lampoon
Recent Cases of iPhone Damage in the Current Political Environment (Apr '17)

Funny or Die
7 Functional And Chaste Fall Styles Inspired By The Amish (Sept '16)
The Trump vs. Clinton Fight Is Bad But Have You Seen A Bear Fight A Shark? (Aug '16)
I Found Your Dog, But Will Not Respond Because Your Poster Is Poorly Designed (Aug '16)
How Has Nobody Caught This Jason Bourne Guy Yet? (Aug '16)
A Step By Step Guide On How To Properly Use Pennies (Aug '16)
- Funny or Dies News Topical Joke Contributor & Part-Time Editor (Jul '15 - Aug '16)

Above Average
- The Sponsored Content is Coming From Inside the House!!! (Oct '15)
I’m A Big Strong Daddy And I’m Worried About My Weak Little Baby (Oct '15)
Where Are Your Taxes Going? (Apr '15)
Bow Down To Me, For I Am Your Tax Demon (Apr '15)
I'm Disappointed in this Gang of Pick Pockets' Recent Work (Feb '15)
No Fly Zones (Nov '14)
The Diary of My Sister’s Conservative Pet Gerbil from 1993 (Nov '14)

The Hard Times
Health-Conscious Punks Begin Vaping Glue (Oct '15)
Condé Nast Acquires Millions of Angry Readers (Oct '15)
Zine Has Limited Run of Zero Issues (Aug '15)
BREAKING: Oh Fuck, This Is A Nazi Band (Aug '15)

CollegeHumor
Frequently Asked Questions About Your New Air Mattress (Aug '14)
Son, We Need to Talk About Jaywalking (Apr '14)

Trop
Itinerary for Your Princess South American Cruise: Swim, Sun, and Nazi Hunting in Argentina (Jul '14)

Perpetual Nostalghia: Journal of Film and Culture
Forte's Forte (Mar '14)
Stand-up Comedy - 2012 In Review (Jan '13)
- You Can Never Go There And Back Again (Jan '13)
Horror in Indy: The Opening Of the Ark (Oct '12)

Obit Magazine
Summers with Paul (May '11)